The (New & Improved) HYENA KITCHEN

WASHINGTON — U.S. ambassador to China Jon Huntsman, has submitted his letter of resignation to the White House on Monday announcing he intends to leave the post April 30. Huntsman, the former governor of Utah, was appointed ambassador by President Barack Obama in 2009. Huntsman's resignation is generating considerable attention in political circles because his foreign policy experience - not to mention deadly laser/heat vision - could stand out in (and utlimately burn to the ground) an already crowded GOP field.

PHOENIX — First, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer filed suit with the federal government for "failing to control Arizona's border with Mexico and enforce immigration laws." Now it seems the Arizona tea-baggers and Mini-men who are pushing to "dramatically reduce if not virtually eliminate" illegal immigration, have had their irrresponsible, prepetually and morally vacant, self indulgent message drastically misunderstood, as today it was announced that Borders are close closing around the country, as the chain filed for bankruptcy. Not what you asked for, but it's a frist step. Hell, none of you can read anyway.

MTV announced today the return of it's hit reality series PUNK'D in which unsuspecting celebs are duped into candid camera-style hoax or prank. "We're kicking off our tenth seaon with the biggest Punk'd of all. We have been working on this one since Season One," says host and series co-creator ASHTON KUTCHER (seen above) as he prepares to reavel the hoax to an unsupecting GEORGE W.BUSH at last week's Super Bowl. "A good prank always works best when we have a good inside accomplice and this season would not have been possible without her help," said Kutcher, who amid internet rumors, denies that he would be replaced as host by tween sensation Justin Bieber. "It's Punk'd, do you really think he has a career?"