LOOK KIDS!!! A Whole Damedic and One Single Post about it.

 

    I recently saw a “meme/self-help affirmashit” about not being in competition with others, that I felt compelled (distracted) to comment on.  I have no time or desire to compete with others, it is enough to compete with myself.  The battle between my demons and my muses - oh, that right there, gives me a new story idea, that will never come to fruition - see, I can easily be distracted by the excitement of a new idea.  I am filled with a desire to be productive, but what I should be doing is charging admission to the cage match starring my procrastination/laziness and my ambition/ imagination. The words come, whether I ask for them or not - writing them down is merely a reliving of pressure that threatens to blow some internal seal.  In a perfect world, I’d be content to sip coffee, read, listen to music and never leave the house.  I think of “writers” like James Patterson Incorporated - with file drawers full of story ideas and shelves of house-pseudonyms - and would rather all my work cremated with my body and sprinkled to spell out FUCK OFF on the steps of some poorly funded library than be that kind of “writer.”

    As we “speak” there are 2 shorts, 3 features, 4 novels, 2 non-fic music things, a blues concept album, a series of photographs, and a poetry collection, (and am often forgotten blog) all vying for my attention, yet here I sit, coffee cup in hand, dog curled up next to me, music streaming from my laptop and I am content to evolve no further than this moment in time. I may surprise all and get something done, but at this moment - like the meme said - this is who I am and I am free.  Somedays it is enough to make the coffee, find the couch and the dog - ignoring the internal battle of too many ideas vs. I have all the time in the world, that eventually crumble into an ambivalent “oh, if it happens, it happens.”