Spare (me).

        I recently read an opt-ed piece on CNN titled “Why Prince Harry is a Threat to a Certain Kind of Man,”: written by a Louis Staples (no relation to Mavis), a self-credited “culture writer” (whatever the fuck that is?). It caught my eye because several years ago I had started work on a book titled Unleashing Your Inner Sinatra; The De-Pussification of the American Male – which was intended to be a humorous look at reclaiming of the male ego in an increasingly humorless world. Due to the cultural climate I chose to “self-cancel” the project, but this CNN piece gave me hope that things might be changing (and perhaps all this ridiculous hype, might be of value yet). 

    Despite the fact that Staples took the first nine paragraphs to recap the past two month’s Netflix/tell-all hype, before getting around to his point (apparently, Cultural Writer School fosters the habit of burying the lead) – I sallied forth, in hopes that a point would magically appear. Sadly, none was to be found, beyond the Millennial finger pointing toward the obvious, which has come to be our norm and an ad for two upcoming books (also destined for a remainder table near you) that deal with the “fact” that Men just aren’t Men anymore.  None of which is “the former Prince” Harry’s fault – but he could hold the solution.  He won’t, but he could.                                                                   

    So, what certain kind of man are we talking about?  I see no threat.  The man that is missing – the one who stood by family, faced and fixed his problems, rather than pointing them out and doing nothing about it, stood for what was right, regardless, minded his own business, loved his fellow man, fought for a better world – strong, trustworthy, and dependable – that man’s been missing the past couple of generations.  Beat down by society and uninformed opinion. Harry’s not a threat to a certain kind of man. Look around. He is that man.    

     Perhaps, instead of becoming a Kardashian with a James Cordon accent, Harry should storm the castle, take his wimp brother by the ear, throw him at the foot of the soon to be crowned Wimp King (in full British Army regalia, no less) and demand his proper place, as next in line to the Throne of England. The Once and Future King of the British Commonwealth.  Maybe throw in a good old fashion Tower of London beheading – you know, for the tourists.  Perhaps Prince Andrew. Then dare the British press to speak ill of his Queen and their children.  The world needs a King like this – if nothing more than to compare against their own meager leaders.  Harry seemed, once badass enough to be that man, but sadly he is not the one, the one prophecy foretold would rise up and change the world, to bring nobility and relevance back to the Royal family. So, let’s shove the sword back into the stone, while we wait for the new Netflix series, The Redemption of a Fresh Prince – yeah, that certain kind of man.  Lest we forget – a whore is an honorable profession (position), until they forget they’re a whore.