I Don't Think You're Happy Enough! I'm Gonna Make You Happy. . .

 

    A friend of mine recently sent me a Harvard study on “what makes us happy in life.” Now I don’t know if he felt, for some reason, that I needed to be happier (although the great Stinky Wizzleteat song about a whale – The Happy Happy Joy Joy Song – did come to mind. “I don’t think you’re happy enough. I’ll teach you to be happy.”) or, was he merely looking out for my “social fitness” – the study’s suggested “Number One Key” to happiness achievement – as any friend would do.  Now, if the recent pandemic taught me anything, it’s that anti-social behavior is extremely beneficial and is a concept that I’ve been perfecting (or attempting) for years – therefore my “social fitness is in tip top condition – and directly responsible for my happiness.                                                                                                                                        

    Not to belittle or make light of this 85-years-in-the-making study, but - well, it’s me, so here we go. . .                                                                                       

    The Harvard study wants us to “take stock of our social relationships” with seven “keystones of support” (there are a lot of keys in this study), that I take umbrage to on my road to happiness. First is “Safety and Security.” Very important, They ask, “Who would you call if you woke up scared in the middle of the night?”  Well, my “key” to happiness is not to let fear rule your any aspect of your life. The odds that whatever keeps you up at night, or in the day for that matter, is coming to get you is slim. Stop listening to commercial media, their job is to make/keep you afraid. There’s nothing to be scared off. Imagine the worst thing that could possibly happen to you, got it? Now, imagine the greatest thing that could happen. Both are pure imagination, and you live somewhere smack dab in the middle.                                                            

    Second keystone on the journey is “Learning and Growth.” Who encourages you to take chances and pursue your goals?  It should be you, yourself, you know, that groggy face in the mirror – you cannot depend on others for that. The sayings “find what you love and let it kill you” and “Do something every day that scares you” fit well here, although the second does contradict my No Fear rule. Face it, don’t fear it. The happiness derived from achieving your own goal is beyond measure.                                                                                                                                  

    The next three all require the same element. “Emotional Closeness.” “Identity Affirmation.” And “Romantic Intimacy.” These are important as a means of support – your feelings your sense of who you are, a satisfying romantic relationship.  But they are not mandatory to achieve happiness nor a level of social fitness. We’ve all experienced each/all of these only to have them come crashing down around us, leaving us. . .well, dare I say it? Unhappy. Besides there are plenty of who lead happy lives without one or more of these, right?  It’s again, all about you. Self.    

    Number Six is “HELP.”  Who do you turn to for expertise? Not to be glib, but have you tried YouTube?  In today’s world, everyone has an opinion and they’re more than willing to share it with you. Just ask them. And nine times out of ten the advice will be wrong.  So where are you? That’s right, it comes back to almighty YOU. It’s nice if have the above mentioned 3,4, & 5 to use as a sounding board, but in the end, you have to pull up your big boy/girl pants/panties and help yourself.                                                                                                                                       

    The Seventh (and final) is the most important key to happiness – but not necessarily to social fitness – “FUN.”  While it is nice to have company, it’s not necessary to find happiness, Go to a movie by yourself. Go grab a burger and a beer. A banana split. Coffee, by yourself. A concert. Vacation. Learn to enjoy your own company. Remember the saying – If you’re not having fun, you’re doing it wrong. Do it right. There’s nothing to be afraid of. Love yourself. Be curious. Support and pursue your dreams. And have fun. Be happy.                                                       

    Are you happy, Mr. Wizzleteat?                                                                                             

    I am. My anti-social fitness firmly intact, and I didn’t even go to Harvard.

                                                                                                                                    ✌✌💓💓

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