In Unapologetic Defense of Comedy

    Back in my stand-up days - way back in the 1980’s before everyone had feelings and politicized correctness - I did a telephone bit to play with the audience.  The phone would ring on stage and I’d have to answer.  It was the father of whichever young lady was seated up front (this is why you never sit against the stage in a Comedy Club) and I would proceed to relay questions from “Dad” about how the date was going, etc.  Sounds dumb, I know, but it worked. One particular night, however, a young lady’s date took umbrage to what I was saying and decided to defend his woman - this happened to be Texas, I should have known better.  As he was making his way around to the steps, I kept talking - I think the word is needling. Always one to make a situation worse! It was killing, and as he got closer, phone in hand, I dropped my arm ready to clock him if he actually stepped up on stage. One foot on the bottom step and security grabbed him, escorting him from the room, all the time threatening to “get his friends.”. My parting comment was “he’s going out to tell his friends. There’s nothing better word of mouth.” At which time the phone rang again, with annoyed look up to the sound booth, I answered and continued with the bit - asking the girl to bring home a gallon of milk.  She stayed for the rest of the night I have no idea what happened to the experiment in machismo.

    I thought about this as I watched Will Smith strut up to Chris Rock on Sunday night, wishing he had continued a barrage of jokes, until security came to drag The Stale Prince out of the building. In an alternate universe it went like this: Keep my wife’s name out of your fucking mouth! You mean Jada? Jada jada jobaba banana fana fo fada, me mi mo mada, Jada. Keep your seat, come up here again I’ll stand over you like Ali did Sonny Liston, now here are the nominees for Best Documentary. . .It was just a joke and I have said many times before, if it’s really funny, then it’s not offensive. And yes, I will always back a comedian for his right to tell a joke. The offence in this case is it wasn’t particularly funny. It was an observational aside that.

    I keep seeing that Chris Rock owes an apology for making fun of a woman’s looks. No. It was an observational aside that would have been quickly forgotten had not Jada’s death glare sent her “man” into action. Making fun of her appearance would have been calling alopecia - Appalachia - or asking if she was breaking in Cancer for a friend - or making fun of her dress - that God awful dress. But he didn’t, he made a bad movie reference joke.  The apology he does owe is to the viewing audience for depriving them of a satisfactory ending - now that would have been a television moment. But I have to applaud Chris Rock for taking the high road - the show must go on and all - and for not pressing charges. That shows character.

    The incident did bring to light the lack of character of the biggest pain-in-the-ass couple in Hollywood and how little they really have to offer.  By some divine miracle, should the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences grow a pair in the next couple of days and sanction Smith for his behavior, Queen Jada can go back to boycotting the Oscars and we can put them - and their fundamentally talentless offspring - in the room where they keep Roseanne, Charlie Sheen and Randy Quaid.  We should all be so lucky.

    But let’s put this whole thing in perspective. There a more important issues to focus on. This was nothing more than a multi-millionaire fool slapping a millionaire jester for the entertainment of a room full of other character lacking millionaires, who in a forty-eight-hour news cycle will turn their attentions to something else quicker than a three-year-old with ADHD. In a world where apologies serve as a publicists’ gimmick - handed out like - well, like Oscars, it all holds very little relevance to any of the 2.5 million writing/reading about it (myself included).  If Jada was really offended, she should have slapped Chris Rock herself - powerful Gotham villain that she is.

    I’m just happy, for once, it wasn’t made racial. Imagine if Amy Schumer had made the joke?

 

[The preceding has been made possible by the generous contribution of the National Alopecia Association, the Sy Sperling Foundation, and by viewers like you. Really? What did you expect? I’m sorry, I’m really very sorry. I would like to apologize to the Academy. . .]